midnight grey

a nelson is a wrestling hold, one of submission.

a half nelson is a movie – one about dialectics, to be exact.

“you see- history, is about change. change comes from opposites pushing against each other,” says dan dunne, a teacher in an innercity school (played to perfection by ryan gosling). “this happens until one side gets stronger than the other.”

he illustrates this by arm-wrestling a student.

that scene is the movie. opposite forces – a crackhead whos a good teacher. a drug dealer who has a heart. “night and day”. on and on.

it is about how one cannot exist without the other because, you see, “they need each other”.

maybe thats what Yuri Orlov (Nicolas Cage) understood in the movie lord of war. if he didn’t sell illegal arms, someone else would take his place. “i might as well do it,” he reasoned. i can’t argue with that.

and so midnight in the garden of good and evil would not be as beautiful if it lacked either forces as well. even midnight itself is a threshold plane – a fragile point between two conditions. it is a grey point.

instant tragic beauty.

maybe michael jackson was wrong when he sang “black or white”. it implies exclusion, an either/or. it denies the possibility of the inbetween, which is a lovely concept.

it is lovely purely because it gives chance a chance.

black as coal is a sad state. we’d – i’d – like to think there’s at least a smidgen of white within our tarred souls. “at least I started white”, one can shrug at the very least. a deux ex machina- only this time, without a god.

a redemption crutch. we can be beautiful walking contradictions which without, we would not be.

and so like midnight, we too will be tragically beautiful.

it lets us be pure without needing to be pure. a half-fuck baptism (/submission) that is easy to believe in.

perfect. everyone should watch.


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i wanna be forever young.

February 2007
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